Exploring Scripture from an eastern perspective, placing focus on god's work rather than that of biblical characters.
Forgiveness
A Freeing Experience, both Given and Received
A common response, when someone experiences a loss or an insult is directed to another person, is to utter the words, "I'm sorry". What does "I'm sorry" actually mean? Does it mean, "I'm sorry I was caught"? Does it mean, "I'm sorry you're so sensitive that you can take constructive criticism"?
One thought about "I'm sorry" may more accurately state something which occurred accidentally. If someone bumps another person accidentally, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you" is fitting to this situation. If someone knocks over a glass of water, "I'm sorry, how clumsy of me", seems to be an appropriate response.
To address an injured relationship or to offer words of comfort may require more than just saying, "I'm sorry". An appropriate response to an emotional or psychological hurt would be to pursue forgiveness.
I suggest that forgiveness is an expression of sorrow for the hurt I caused and my desire is to mend the damage I inflicted. The first step is to acknowledge and accept personal responsibility for the pain I caused. A comment similar to this could be the initial step. "I recognize the words that I uttered about you were unkind and degrading to you". The focus is on my insensitive statement. The person should see that I am accepting full responsibility and not casting blame towards them.
This is followed by acknowledging the hurt the other person felt. Ask them to describe their feelings, describing the nature and depth of their pain. It is easy to become defensive at this point, but be mature enough to accept their expression. The next step is to reiterate to them your understanding of the depth of their hurt. Then ask them if I have accurately understood their feelings.
Confess that what I have done has wronged them in a manner which they did not deserve. Confession means to agree with the other person that their viewpoint is accurate and that mine is incorrect.
Following this, ask them to forgive you. If they forgive you, the journey to reconciliation has been initiated. However, if they respond that it will take some time, it is wise to refrain from becoming defensive or shifting the blame to them. Give them permission to take the time they need to genuinely extend forgiveness.
Follow either response with words similar to this, "Your friendship is important to me, and I do not want to belittle you moving forward. At anytime that I say or infer a comment or an action that is hurtful to you, please describe the hurt to me as I want to make amends immediately".
The Psalmist states in Psalm 51:4 (N.A.S.B.), "Against Thee, Thee only have I sinned, and done what is evil in Thy sight...." An inference from this verse is there is one Lawgiver and if I break the God given law, my sin is against the Lawgiver. If I break the Law that instructs me not to lie, then I sinned against God and I have wronged the person about whom I lied. The proper response is to seek forgiveness at two different levels there is the Divine level of sin against God and the human level of wronging a person whom God created.
Jesus emphasizes the importance of forgiveness by stating that our receiving God's forgiveness is contingent on our forgiving others when they have wronged us (Matthew 6:14&15). Forgiving and being forgiven frees a person to not carry a burden or a grudge against someone. Having this burden lifted gives one the opportunity to fully accept and love others and to fully accept God's forgiveness and the "agape love" God extends to all people.
One thought about "I'm sorry" may more accurately state something which occurred accidentally. If someone bumps another person accidentally, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you" is fitting to this situation. If someone knocks over a glass of water, "I'm sorry, how clumsy of me", seems to be an appropriate response.
To address an injured relationship or to offer words of comfort may require more than just saying, "I'm sorry". An appropriate response to an emotional or psychological hurt would be to pursue forgiveness.
I suggest that forgiveness is an expression of sorrow for the hurt I caused and my desire is to mend the damage I inflicted. The first step is to acknowledge and accept personal responsibility for the pain I caused. A comment similar to this could be the initial step. "I recognize the words that I uttered about you were unkind and degrading to you". The focus is on my insensitive statement. The person should see that I am accepting full responsibility and not casting blame towards them.
This is followed by acknowledging the hurt the other person felt. Ask them to describe their feelings, describing the nature and depth of their pain. It is easy to become defensive at this point, but be mature enough to accept their expression. The next step is to reiterate to them your understanding of the depth of their hurt. Then ask them if I have accurately understood their feelings.
Confess that what I have done has wronged them in a manner which they did not deserve. Confession means to agree with the other person that their viewpoint is accurate and that mine is incorrect.
Following this, ask them to forgive you. If they forgive you, the journey to reconciliation has been initiated. However, if they respond that it will take some time, it is wise to refrain from becoming defensive or shifting the blame to them. Give them permission to take the time they need to genuinely extend forgiveness.
Follow either response with words similar to this, "Your friendship is important to me, and I do not want to belittle you moving forward. At anytime that I say or infer a comment or an action that is hurtful to you, please describe the hurt to me as I want to make amends immediately".
The Psalmist states in Psalm 51:4 (N.A.S.B.), "Against Thee, Thee only have I sinned, and done what is evil in Thy sight...." An inference from this verse is there is one Lawgiver and if I break the God given law, my sin is against the Lawgiver. If I break the Law that instructs me not to lie, then I sinned against God and I have wronged the person about whom I lied. The proper response is to seek forgiveness at two different levels there is the Divine level of sin against God and the human level of wronging a person whom God created.
Jesus emphasizes the importance of forgiveness by stating that our receiving God's forgiveness is contingent on our forgiving others when they have wronged us (Matthew 6:14&15). Forgiving and being forgiven frees a person to not carry a burden or a grudge against someone. Having this burden lifted gives one the opportunity to fully accept and love others and to fully accept God's forgiveness and the "agape love" God extends to all people.
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Kermit@Forgiven1.life
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